I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
