My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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