are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
