Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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