fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
