He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
