don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
