He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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