i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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