also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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