sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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