I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just invented taco cereal.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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