there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
