kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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