How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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