Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
