About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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