he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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