Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
