I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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