what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
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He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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