Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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