sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize