The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
