I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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