Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
