Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
