Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
