Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
