I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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