I got chris browned last night
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
