thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
