its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
