Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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