Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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