We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
