Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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