i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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