So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
