i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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