So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
