can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
