You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
