Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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