would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
