physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
