the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
