I want to stick my p in your. b.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
