thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
