It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
