I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
