so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
