Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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