Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
