i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize