I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
