i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
