So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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