Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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