who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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