Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
