I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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